A new kind of virus was spreading like wildfire within the enterprise, triggered by some unwitting employee opening the stereotypical suspicious yet harmless-looking email. While security researchers are scrambling to analyze and contain the malware, it has been observed that one of the virus' operations was to make computers seek out other computers connected to the same network and try to infect those. That's probably why the geeks have dubbed it The Borg.
Offices everywhere have had no choice but to temporarily pull their computers from both Internet and local networks, using only authorized USB flash drives to pass data around. Unfortunately for one such office, upper management forgot that one of their most hard-working staff was always connected to the network 24/7. They only realized it too late when an employee walked in on him fucking the photocopier, inserting and pulling out its penis repeated into the machine's USB port. Fortunately, the photocopier model was so old that it neither had wired nor wireless network capabilities, preventing the virus from further spreading.
They did have to manually shut down the robot as it was unresponsive and was caught in a loop. The machine was temporarily disassembled so that IT could run forensics and use its powerful CPU to help break down the new virus. It would be repaired and reactivated soon, ready to put in hard work again and assist human employees with their hard-ons.
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